AND SPORT G/H
Davros says: "Ha!
The news! It amazes me how these tiny-minded humans, with
their laughable, spindly 'legs' and opposable thumbs
prattle on as though their actions have some kind of
significance in the universe. I'd like to see their news
reports when my daleks invade 'Earth' and trundle down
every street in every city - then they will know the
meaning of news - it is the DALEK!"
Davros says: "They never
cover Skaro, I don't know why. But they will."
Davros says: "We should
be able to get Central, which has better news and is
altogether more dynamic. I had one of the Ogrons up on
the roof of the bunker to adjust the aerial, but it
wasn't as nimble as it's monkey-like appearance would
'don't touch me!' Black attempts to match appalling
people up with other appalling people, to give the rest
of us a better chance of finding a decent mate.
Davros says: "Ha...
these foolish, weak contestants sicken me. I could build
a race of far superior contestants that could win all
game shows... take all prizes... take the girl to
Venice... SPIN THE WHEEL! Look at them! Useless! All
useless! Legs, there's no need for legs. Away with the
legs, my contestants will float on air - compressed air.
And two hands... the second hand is redundant. There will
be a claw... or a sucker. It's unimportant. There can be
no stopping my game show success progress. My contestants
are the future. The prizes are mine! ALL MINE!"
for Jim Nettles as Liza Goddard goes on the rampage in St
Helier with a length of copper pipe.
Davros says: "I
find the theme to this quite stirring - dang dang DANG!
wangy-dang-TWANG! - but this is also the time when I am
fed my tea. Since this involves a Dalek with a special
arm attachment squirting mushed-up rusks and Complan in
the general direction of my face, the jaunty gyrations
that the Bergerac theme inspires me to perform can result
in quite a mess splattered across my filled-in eyes, and
the gruel often becomestrapped within my jowl-creases.
But my Dalek servants do not mock my comical visage
because THEY KNOW THAT I, DAVROS, AM THEIR CREATOR, AND
WITHOUT ME THEY WOULD - hang on, who's that dark-haired
piece? She looks familiar..."
Chamberlain is on a mission once more to collect 1960s
girl juice for his own important research.
Davros says: "What's
this? Doc-tor ... Doc-tor ... I didn't select this
programme. Hm. Feel strangely perturbed."
WAIT UP U/G/O/D
Davros says: "What??? Two
Doctors?? There is only one doctor that could split into
... Arg!! The Doc-tor!! THAT meddling fool is at it
again, disrupting my television reception with some kind
of jury-rigged contraption! The white-haired,
recorder-tooting, tattooed, curly-bonced, 'vulnerable',
fat, short CUNT! Right, that's it, two can play at that
game. I'm turning over."
YOUNG DOCTORS X
Dale loses his Afro. He suspects...
FLYING DOCTORS L/Q/A/A
in his airborne closet, Shane from...
Davros says: "Fly-ing
Doctors? Fly-ing Doctors? What fresh nuisance is this??!!
Well, there will be no escape, Doc-tor, not even in the
air. I shall create winged Daleks, or daleks with
rotor-blades atop their impervious domes, and THEY WILL
BE THE SUPREME BEINGS OF BOTH LAND AND AIR!!! AND
SPACE!!! Yes. Fly all you like, Doc-tor. Fly all ...
Eugh! They're showing an eye operation! Turn over! Quick
- ohhh, I've knocked the remote off my console with my
withered claw of a hand! Curses! Hold on ... intercom ..
All units! All units! This is Davros. This is Davros. All
units report to Davros' secret bunker for an important
IN THE HOUSE R
Davros says: "Well. It
seems that my Daleks cannot pick up the remote control
from the gleaming stainless steel floor, and I am forced
to watch MORE Doctor-related programming scheduled by
that troublesome Time Lord, who no doubt thinks he's
quite the wag as he tumbles through space with some sad
urchin or other. No matter - I shall build a Dalek with a
metal claw able to lift five remote controls at once. Or
... what if I were to create a television that could be
controlled by switches incorporated into my kinky
wheelchair console ... then I would have the power to
watch any channel I desire, or ... I could even TURN THE
TELEVISION OFF ENTIRELY. At my whim. Would I create such
a device? Yes ... yes ... that kind of power would set me
up amongst the gods! AND THROUGH THE DALEKS, I WILL HAVE
a nifty tunnel effect.
||THE GENERATION GAME M/G/T/Y/S/H/H/F